Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize