hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize