Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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