maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize