Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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