I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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