hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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