My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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