I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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