come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
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True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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