He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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