I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize