you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize