After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize