That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
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So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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