stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize