yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize