Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize