he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize