explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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