Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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