Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i think we sleep fucked last night...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize