I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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