I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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