What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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