he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
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I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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