Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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