Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize