Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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