what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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