So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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