My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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