White coat. Heels.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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