i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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