apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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