I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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