just tell him i said nine months
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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