WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
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sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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