Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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