i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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