Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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