Soap is not a condiment
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Send help, water and tortillas.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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