Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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