i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize