I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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