Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my weed a kiss
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think my moral compass just broke
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize