We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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