hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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