What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Randomize