I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize